Recently I have noticed a trend in the number of people feeling really emotionally hurt by their employer and their workplace. The topic that seems to be bubbling over in the form of a societal anxiety froth is AI and job loss. The headlines about AI ambitions, as well as current progress  have left some professions somewhat redundant already. Additionally, in the last few years the rates of redundancies for companies needing to save costs has soared. There is a lot of fear and loss of self worth rattling underneath polished and confident CV’s, masks of established skillsets and positive affirmations.

 

Even the psychotherapy profession has been challenged by the mass use of the new favourite therapist ‘Chat’ (GPT), but as someone who lost her first job to sudden liquidation of a company, I empathise and relate deeply with some of these feelings, and fears that are, sadly, not irrational.

 

Loss of Culture

 

When a company’s financial security is in jeopardy, one of the earlier things I notice that changes is the company culture. This could be due to a merger, fear from senior level and pressure from financial level which trickles down. Like children to scared parents, employees sense change and nervous energy rises. Also, maybe perks will start changing or disappearing. Hours might become longer, job roles might expand or be redirected. Basically, chaos behind the curtain ensues while on the floor, managers attempt to act like all is fine. 

 

I hear this from clients who talk about the ‘good times’ where everyone would work hard on a project and celebrate a long day with a game in the office or drinks after work. They didn't dread coming in in the morning because morale and even friendship was high. Without explicitly naming it, we build a positive attachment to our workplace as a component of our lives that we are in relationship with, and makes us feel positively. 

This noticed and/or felt change I see might result in a melancholy, even a grief for what going to work used to mean on a day-to-day level, or a purpose or meaning level.

 

The workplace started as a decent way to spend your day in order to earn a living. And now, it’s a pressure cooker, perhaps hostile, less engaged and a less human-centric experience. 

Sometimes we don’t notice how much impact a workplace environment can have on our general mood and wellbeing until its gone downhill. I see this happening a lot.

 

The grief in itself is difficult to work through and accept or do something about, but it also raises some additional troubles.

 

Lost sense of value

 

A good friend of mine found herself eventually in a new job , after hopping in and out of a couple of short term contracts. She finally felt a sense of ease and optimism. This had all come off the back of being in a job for 10 years where she felt valued but slowly and surely made the majority of the workforce redundant, outsourcing work to India. I was so relieved when she told me she was enjoying work again and grateful to be working with a nice manager who was already talking about extending the contract. But then- just like that- she had a month left. This is one in many such stories where people have had the rug pulled from under them. The loss of stability is huge, and in a very challenging job market, it doesn't come backed up with self confidence that the next job is just around the corner. ‘One door closes another door opens’ mindset does not apply here!

 

Something that has really struck me working with people in such situations is the plummet in self worth. How can an employer who gives you consistent praise and positive reviews all of a sudden not think you’re needed there anymore?

 

Psychologically we talk about attachments and styles. We build secure attachments which in turn promotes a more secure understanding of ourselves in the world. This occurs relationally through reliable responses (“that wasn’t great but I still appreciate you”; “I may not always be at your side but I will come back”), consistent availability and appraisal, and this action from workplaces actively destroys that. In some people I would say this sudden rejection can create a trauma response. Think about it, “I am appreciated, I am valued, I am safe” . All of a sudden, “I am not important, I was an idiot to think I had that value and I am not safe”. Furthermore, the professional guise means that companies and employers are not often honest and transparent, which leaves people disorientated and confused, which then takes them much longer to recover from the whiplash and rejection.

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Disrespect and Deceit

 

When suddenly a job turns its back on you, or the culture suspiciously changes, people can appraise it differently. There will be an individual difference here with some people giving the company the benefit of the doubt for a long time, while others spark straight into anger and self protection.

Once a client has appraised that there is actually some blame to be placed, feelings of hurt can be channelled into anger, They say anger is the outward expression of sadness afterall.

These feelings can be challenging to sit with and know what to do with. Sometimes the ‘fight’ component can be helpful in leveraging self worth in order to move forward with assertion. On other occasions a client might stew in bitterness, betrayal, again, coming back to a broken attachment, which challenges their self worth and might even feel stuck and abandoned.

It is a very difficult thing to have a relationship damaged in such a way, and going forward in the world, just like when you have had infidelity in a relationship, can manifest in a projected mistrust and cause long lasting impacts on roaming the world with ease.

 

How to step back

 

Above I have summarised some of my key observations of when the workplace turns it’s back on my clients and friends, and all have connected but varying impacts emotionally and psychologically. It is hard to know what to do as a therapist that can be helpful and realistic. I have always struggled with giving psychological advice in this territory because business just isn't humanity. It tries to be, sure- but it isn’t. At the end of the day, money will always be the most important thing, not feelings.

 

I encourage my clients to think of their ‘pillars’, these are components that make up our lives and hold us up. Family, friends, a relationship, creativity, music, hobbies, travel, community. Work and/ or career will likely be one of them as they do give us stability when they are functioning well, just like all of those listed do. When one or two pillars are crumbling and need some renovation work, we need to reinforce the others even more so. It is dangerous to have our self worth tied up predominantly in one or two places. Distribute it, find ways to not only spend good quality time, but also to make us feel good about ourselves, eg. I’m not half bad at painting, or, It’s great to be part of a team that has so much fun together, or I can tell this friend really feels safe confiding in me.

 

Being realistic, finding work is hard, and now at the moment, from my angle, keeping work is hard. And we need income more than ever. But this isn’t just one client. Sometimes a bit of perspective is helpful. Even though their manager might really like them, at the end of the day, the business is puppeteering them. Sadly we don’t have that much control, but with that, I encourage clients to let go. Consider loyalties and

pillars.